The Portable Curmudgeon

John Winokur

Who needs Bartlett's? This smallish (300 pages, but smaller than a mass market paperback) hardbound tome is positively gleaming with some of the finest and most misanthropic quotes ever uttered in the hearing of other human beings. Along with such standards as W. C. Fields' "A woman drove me to drink, and I never took the time to thank her." and Dot Parker's well-known and oft-misqouted Harvard homecoming ball zinger, "if all the coeds here were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised." are more obscure and meaner quotes from the world-class peoplehaters (Fields, Bierce, Parker), the more warm and fuzzy curmudgeons (Groucho Marx, Calvin Trillin), the masters of damning with faint praise (Vidal, Shoales), the thoroughly off-the-wall (Ti-Grace Atkinson merits at least two appearances), and every other possible stripe of literary wordwarring. Throughout, Winokur interlaces the quotations with mini-biographies of some of the world's more celebrated curmudgeons and interviews with the up-and-comers, such as the acid-tongued Ian Shoales, a commentator for NPR's _All Things Considered_ who alone would make the show worth listening to.

Absolutely necessary for anyone who's ever been at a loss for words to describe the length and breadth of human stupidity. **** 1/2