Stamping Grounds: Leichtenstein's World Cup Odyssey

Charlie Connelly

Admittedly it may not sound very promising. But a book about a season following the tiny Liechtenstein national football team as they lurch from defeat to defeat in the 2002 World Cup qualifiers (played 8, lost 8, 23 goals conceded, none scored) could have been a classic of the genre in the right hands. Heroic sporting failures often make excellent literary material. But this one is dull, dull, dull. It's all light-hearted self-deprecation and mild jokes at the expense of Liechtenstein's size and status. The Liechtensteiners he meets are solid and unremarkable and Connelly's attempts to write several of them up as "characters" are transparently feeble. Worst of all, the deadliest writing is in the actual description of the matches. Connelly simply cannot write the action.

It's only moving on to reading the classic All Played Out by Pete Davies - review to come - which made me properly realise what a poor football book Stamping Grounds is. If it were parmesan it would be ready-grated.

Actually it's bad luck, and not his fault, that the author arrives one World Cup too early. By the time of the 2006 qualifiers Liechtenstein would be quite a nifty outfit, achieving a remarkable haul of two wins and two draws. Considering the population of the country is just 30,000 that's a staggering achievement and the players deserve a better chronicler than Connelly.