Tepper Isn't Going Out

Calvin Trillin

Tepper, a native New Yorker in his 60's, has taken to parking his car in the evenings and on weekends in desirable spots around the city, putting his money in the meter and spending his time sitting in his car reading the paper. Cars stop by asking him if he's going out, he tells them that's he's not, usually by flicking his wrist in that "move on" sort of way. As far as he's concerned, he's parked perfectly legally and as long as there's money in the meter he has every right to occupy the parking spot. It is a curious habit he has developed and his family and friends are a little concerned. He knows all of the city's parking rules by heart. Mention any street or avenue and he can tell you what hours of which days you can park there and what hours you can't. This is a result of living in the city where alternate side of the street parking (so the streets can be cleaned) dominated large parts of his evenings as he searched for a parking spot where he could leave his car parked legally longer than just overnight. Now Tepper has a car garage and he is, apparently, having a little trouble adjusting

Anyone who lives or has lived in NY (or probably any city) and knows the horrors of parking there will definitely be able to appreciate the humor of Tepper's circumstances, and this is indeed a fairly entertaining book. Much of the action (if you can call it action) takes place in Tepper's car. But the humor here is very dry and understated and unless you can appreciate that you just might get a little bored reading about Tepper's parking conquests and dilemmas. Eventually, Tepper becomes a sort of local hero and celebrity, as people begin waiting for him in front of parking spots he is known to frequent. They stand in line, taking turns sitting in the passenger's seat of his car seeking advice about their lives. Tepper is a man of simple logic - in fact, listening to Tepper talk about parking is very reminiscent of Chauncy Gardner and his "metaphors" for gardening which enlighten everyone around him in Kosinsky's "Being There." And lest you think Tepper is some NYC loon, he's not. He has a family and plenty of good friends and he owns Worlwide Lists, a business that specializes in selling lists of prospects for direct-mail ordering. Ultimately, Tepper finds himself in some legal trouble as the mayor (a stand-in for Guiliani for sure) tries to stop him from parking for sport. This of course causes him greater celebrity and now he has lawyers who want to represent him, agents who want him to write a book about his life, etc.

Calvin Trillin is a longtime columnist for The New Yorker and, humorously enough, actually served as editor for an issue of "Beautiful Spot: A Magazine of Parking." This book is light and fun and entertaining and not a bad way to spend a couple of days.